Chapter 27: The Social Network

Okay, if you're reading this, you more than likely have a social network account. Whether that be Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. You name it and people have it - unless you have no internet or a smart phone in which case, I'm sorry to hear that... or am I???

I'm just gonna say it, social networks are a mixed blessing. On the one hand you get to connect with your friends, capture pictures in the moment, edit them with beautiful sepia tones and upload to your friends instantly and find people you thought you never would, like long lost families. On the other hand, you are at risk of becoming a victim to Twitter trolls, being deleted by people who are on a cleanse or just plain and simply don't talk to you any more (heaven forbid) and you may not get the attention you were looking for, e.g. uploading a selfie: 0 likes and 1 comment saying, "You dyed your hair blonde? I preferred it brunette." Ouch!
Some people don't know what a "Twitter Troll" is, so here is a brief definition:

Trolling
Being a prick on the internet because you can. Typically unleashing one or more cynical or sarcastic remarks on an innocent by-stander, because it's the internet and, hey, you can.
Guy: "I just found the coolest ninja pencil in existence."
Other Guy: "I just found the most retarded thread in existence."
(Urban Dictionary).

I love the Urban Dictionary's definitions, they're ALWAYS on point.

Social Networking can also be used to find out information about a person. Now this could be for good and can easily be for bad and more likely than none, it is seen as 'stalking'. When someone says, "Oh I've looked through all of your pictures" and you have 3000 pictures? Hmmm... sweet if you're in a relationship with that person, but completely deemed as stalker-ish if you aren't with that person.

Here's a list of things that REALLY nark me about social networking sites:

1. "OMG, I can't believe that just happened!" "Oh no, you okay chick? What's happened?" "I can't say on here." ARRRRGGGHHHH! Don't look for attention, GET attention and then say you can't elaborate on the attention you initially wanted. Two words: Status tease. 
2. Requests for Candy Crush, Bubble Witch Saga and all other shitty games. Even Liam Neeson's getting pissed off : 
   
3. Following clothing range sites on Instagram with nicely assembled outfits and the question, "Yay or Nay?" followed by loads of corrupted smileys with the little square symbols from random Instagram pages in countries all over the world that take up a good few thumb scrolls. My answer is "Nay, you're fecking annoying and now I have thumb cramp."
4. Following funny "Like" pages on Facebook such as "Will you be on time? Will you be on time? Yes! Oh sorry I'm gonna be half an hour late", only for them to post horrible images of abuse and animal cruelty on your news feeds - this really disgusts me. Instant unlike!
5. Countdowns to the weekend and the whole, "I'm dreading Monday morning!". This is what I have to say...
   
6. Lastly, people publicly arguing on a status/trolling. Leave it out!

If you wanna read some more Facebook don'ts, click here.

However there are pro's to social networking sites like:

1. Talking to your friends and family and...

Yeah that's all I got.

One of my favourite scenes in a movie is from The Social Network (2010), the biopic story of how, Mark Zuckerberg, created the most popular social networking site to date. Mark is portrayed as a person of sheer honesty, ruthlessness, rudeness and generally very hard up. A solitary man out of his own accord (rejecting anyone he gets close to), he gets sued by two brothers who claim Facebook was their idea and things begin to rapidly go downhill. It's the final scene that's my favourite; we see this straight laced character throughout the whole of the story and all of a sudden, he adds an ex girlfriend who publicly humiliates him earlier on in the film, and is literally staring at the words "Request Pending" and constantly refreshing the page in the hope that she would immediately accept. This displayed the softer side to Mark's character and confirmed that every type of personality can become addicted and dependent on something like Facebook, even if they convey to be above everyone else who openly displays they're gonna "add you on Facebook" or "post" something on Facebook.

Here's the clip for you:

I'd love to know your opinions on social networking. Is it for the good or the bad? Have you ever had any bad experiences? Have you maybe married someone you met on a social networking site or been a victim of trolling? Contact me on the usual places via here, Facebook or Twitter - ironic hey?

Talk to you next week on Christmas eve peeps - happy shopping!

T.