Chapter 18: A Bit of Motivation...

How many of you can say you have great motivation? Can say that your will power is unbreakable and your determination is immense?! Anyone??? If I could put a sound to what I imagine would be a response, there would be tumble weed rolling at my feet right now. I believe everyone has a great sense of motivation don't get me wrong, but I do think that motivation can slip away at some stage or another. You see these celebrities all the time that go from a size 18 to a size 6 in a disgustingly short period of time, only for it to be piled back on again. Or someone at work who claims they've quit smoking only to get them hidden behind the fire exit toking away like it's a gold cigarette that will make them rich if they don't get rid of it within the minute.

Hi. My name is Patricia and I am constantly on a diet. That doesn't mean I stick to it religiously... There has only ever been one time where I'd like to say I had great motivation and that was when my sister was getting married. I was 19 and her bridesmaid along with my other sister. I lost a stone before the wedding because I went for a dress fitting and was literally horrified at how much I let myself go at Uni. What? I had a Tesco Express, a Nandos and a Chinese Buffet around the corner from where I lived. You'd have all done the same... So I started eating less and moving more. For exercise I'd run, cycle and jump on the little trampoline in my back garden and you know what? It worked. I did however exercise twice a day and lived on a diet of cereal and stir fry and when Laura's big day finally arrived, I felt much better for it. However when I went back to university I took it a little too seriously and dropped to a weight I'd never seen on the scales before. It was only when my sister recognised that my tits had disappeared (for anyone that knows me this might come as a shock to you), that she said I need to stop being so obsessive about the diet and exercise. So I went back up to a healthy weight and kept the exercise to just jumping on the trampoline.

After time, my motivation dropped massively and I haven't really been able to pick it up since before Laura's wedding. I joined the gym with my boyfriend, but didn't go very much. I don't deprive myself of anything, ESPECIALLY if it is sitting in front of me. I have a massive sweet tooth so if chocolate is in the picture, I can't deny it! However I did do my run for Mammy and Cancer Research UK not long back and since then I have got back into running... but I have recently discovered I have sciatica. Yes that's right people, I have become a little old lady. I went to the gym yesterday and winced on the treadmill - NOT a cool look when you have gym addicts and running pro's all around you. I read on the internet that running can help relieve sciatica, but I haven't felt this yet. I've gone back tonight and still nothing. Wish me luck that it does go away soon!

I have tried to regain ways of motivating myself. I have even pretended my sister is getting married again. Heck, I've even GOOGLED how to stay motivated! Wtf?! It's getting desperate now people and I'm not even going to say, "Oh, I'll use some good ol' fashioned will power". Don't put the cakes in front of me and I won't eat them. Don't put a Ben & Jerry's ice cream stand in front of me and I won't ask for a core sundae with cookie dough, chocolate fudge and a hot melting chocolate sauce in the middle. And most importantly, DON'T PUT CADBURY'S DAIRY MILK ON OFFER FOR A £1 FOR THE BIG BARS! I WILL devour them and I WILL happily go for seconds!

I don't believe for a second that you can eat what you want and have abs of steal, so I only have one last thing to add - fuck you, Cheryl Cole!

If anyone shares my thoughts or has any good tips for me, please contact me in the usual places on here, Facebook or Twitter.

Maybe this song will help me?

Toodles!
T.

Chapter 17: What's in a Name?

Have you ever wanted to be someone else? Even if it's just for one day? This could be a movie star, a singer, ANYONE! In my previous blog I spoke about how I have put a different accent on on a night out, just for the craic! What?... It's funny! But I know some people who have changed their names on a night out... I know some of my single girls have done this on a night out. My Dad and Brother-in-Law did it on the way in to the E.T ride in Universal Studios. I don't know if you're familiar, but when you go on the E.T ride you say your name before you go on. When my Dad was asked his name he replied, "Fraser", his name is NOT Fraser. When my Brother-in-Law was asked he replied, "Bart". Again, his name is NOT Bart. it was very funny looking back when E.T shouted, "Bye Fraser, bye Bart!", poor E.T didn't know any better!

It's funny when you look up to stars and think, I would love to be them for a day. People like The Rock (real name, Dwayne Johnson) and Dita Von Teese (real name, Heather Renee Sweet) . But the ironic thing is, they obviously feel the same, cause they don't like/want to use their real names in show business?! Here are a few examples.

Rooney Mara. Real name: Patricia Rooney Mara.

Brad Pitt. Real name: William Bradley Pitt

.

Vin Diesel. Real name: Mark Sinclair Vincent

Jude Law. Real name: David Jude Law

    Pink. Real name: Alecia Beth Moore

Marilyn Manson. Real name: Brian Hugh Warner

So you see, we're not the only ones who wish we were someone or something else. Yes, most of the above examples are stage names, but why have a few of them cut their first names out? To get more work? Because they don't like their first names? Because they want to convey the glamourous world they live in? But isn't it better to show off the real you? I'm sure we have all had a think about how our names would sound if we were famous... 

"And now... The moment you've alllll been waiting for... It's the one, the only, PATRICIAAAA BAXTERRRR!" No? Just me? You're right it does sound shit. I've often thought I would take my middle name, Elise, as my stage name if I ever was famous. I have a thing about my name though. I often think Patricia is only found in three categories:

1. In the credits on a film, e.g. Lighting Manager, Patricia Jones - just look for it, Patricia WILL be there.

2. An author of a book. Zzzzzzzzzz.

3. The name of an elderly person. I'm not ageist, but it is an older woman's name.

So I get slightly upset when I see the likes of Rooney Mara has dropped her real name, Patricia. Yeah Rooney is cool, but why not Patricia? One person I am REALLY pleased has kept her real name is Patricia Arquette because let's face it, she is class!

I think it's perfectly naturally to want to be someone you're not. The reason why I want to get back in to acting is because I love to do so. Because you need something different in your life, whether it be being apart of a band, going to a martial arts class or even going to the cinema and watching the story of something else, or even reading a book and being so enthralled by it that you actual feel like you are one of the characters. I can't be alone in thinking this. So, you know the drill - I'd love to know if you feel the same, just Facebook, Tweet or reply on here as usual.

Myself and my boyfriend went to  Hoar Cross Hall the other week and it was amazing! I must say, it was nice to feel important or similar to that of a celebrity who lunches, wines and dines and relaxes in the spa ;).

One things for sure, being "someone else" didn't work for these guys...

Toodles Peeps!

T.

Chapter 16: Roller Coaster of Life

Hey guys! Hope you are all good! Firstly I would like to apologise for my absence last week, it has been a manic few weeks!

As we all know, life seems like one huge roller coaster - it has it's highs and lows. Things happen to you or someone close to you that makes you see life in a completely new way. I'm sure every one has gone through something like this and if not, it will happen and it could be good or bad. But as I have said in previous weeks, it is important to look at the bigger picture and see what matters in your life. You may have went into the back of someone's car (like I did last Monday morning), but there are worse things happening in the world.

It's amazing how something can happen to you and completely change your view on the world. Some people turn to their families in times like this, others turn to religion, others try to avoid the situation. The point is everyone deals with things in different ways. As some of you may know, my Mammy hasn't been well for over half a year now and there have most certainly been more lows than highs for myself and my family. But I can honestly say we are stronger than ever and constantly supporting each other through whatever good and bad days have came our way.
On another note, my eldest sister Laura fell pregnant this year, which for all of us has been a real blessing and we are so excited to see the new arrival! I really believe that when something bad happens and pivots your life in a different direction, something good always follows behind. It might not happen immediately, but it happens.

My Mammy, Dad and I met a couple at the hospital last week, they must have been in their mid 70's and they were the nicest couple you could ever meet. Both of them are suffering with cancer; the wife was the patient and the husband was visiting. The man was nothing but positivity and smiles and he said, "If you can't laugh, you'll cry." To which we all agreed strongly. When something major happens in your life there are moments where you could be so self destructive and you are completely in your right to feel like that. Many have turned to things they wouldn't usually do. Yeah it might make you feel better in the short term, but what happens in the long term?

Not knowing what the future holds is a scary thing, we all know that. I don't care who you are, I know that at some time or another you have feared what tomorrow will bring, where you're going in life, what job you want to do, how will you support your family, or what people will think of you. The point is, it's important to have that fear factor in order to push yourself and fulfil all the things you want out of life. I'm not claiming I'm always strong, because I'm not. I am quite the opposite. But the way I deal with this is constantly reminding myself of where I have come from and how I've been raised. I have been raised by strong Catholic parents who have great morals and are the biggest support in my life. I come from a family of carers and although I don't do this as a profession, it is something I do on a daily basis.

Something that is frightening me is the time of the year we all know is impending; Christmas. A time of the year I once loved, is a time of the year I fear the most as it was this time we found out about Mammy. But we are all putting up a united front and doing our own thing this year which we are really looking forward to, especially with the new baby being born :).

I know you all probably reading this and thinking, "the title of this girls blog is, '25 And... What The Hell Am I Doing?' why is she lecturing us about how to feel and what to do when she doesn't even know herself?" But that's just it. We can all feel the same way and be in the same boat. After all it is better to share our feelings and let it out rather than keeping them all in. You I said earlier that people deal with things in different ways? Well, this is MY way of dealing with things and it makes me feel a whole lot better. So tell me, how do you cope in certain situations? Do you vent? Do you cause arguments? Or do you avoid what's really going on?

I'll leave you with some Public Enemy - thinking it's fitting for this blog.

Tune in for my next blog coming shortly.
Big love.
T.