Chapter 53: Mind Over Matter

Hey guys, hope you all had a great week! Going to be talking about the things we think we can't do, but when we really put our minds to it, we can. Last Sunday my sister's and I did Race for Life and it was such a lovely day. There's something about doing a race with a bunch of people and knowing that you're all in it together. We ran the race for our Mammy, who I know was looking down on us with a big smile on Sunday. I know she would have been proud of us and so thankful to you all who helped us raise the money we did. Esther informed me her school raised over £400 for us last week which is absolutely fantastic! So thank you very much Guns Village Primary School!

When I ran the race, I remembered all the tips I had learnt from training with my sisters and brother-in-law. Take it slow to start, breathe through your nose and out through your mouth and put your hands behind your head and take deep breaths if you get a stitch (this really works btw). For me I struggle with my breathing pattern, but the thing that always gets me through running is knowing my Mammy is egging me on. When we signed up to do last years 5K she said, "You can run a whole 5k." I did and couldn't quite believe it. So I have vowed to do the run every year now. It really annoys me when People say, "5K is nothing" because for me it's a big thing. I'm not the strongest runner, so to put someone down by saying that is mean in my opinion - have no time for people who do that. It reminds me of Seegar in An Officer and a Gentleman (1982) when she is trying to walk the wall but can't because her Sargent is putting her down. She eventually does when Zack Mayo (Richard Gere) eggs her on. The Sargent is constantly doing this to everyone until they are tipped over the edge. Turns out he's doing it to make them stronger people... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6g2JN2PrHJg&hd=1

I remembered a picture I seen of an overweight man running a marathon with a note on his back saying "I am in front of you and I've had a heart attack." If that doesn't egg you on, then I don't know what will. During Race for Life, everyone has an inspirational message or a message for someone in particular pinned to their backs. Most women state who they are running for. One woman wrote, "I'm running for myself." This really started me off. I started arguing with myself - how dare I even THINK I'm in pain, when there are women running around me with cancer and are having treatment like chemotherapy and radiotherapy. I then saw my sisters in front and my beautiful Mammy's face pinned to their backs. It was a picture from her retirement do in Belfast and she looked so happy. I looked at her face and thought of how strong she was throughout everything and I just knew I had to push on and give it my all, just like she did.

You know that saying, "go hard or go home"? I love it. It has to be one of my favourite sayings because it's just so applicable to everything. If you can't give something your all, what do you have to give? It's time to start thinking positively about ourselves because it is so easy to be consumed by the negativity that surrounds us on the television, the internet and in magazines and newspapers.  

When my sister and I went to a tattoo shop a couple of weeks ago, we went in with the intention of just having something drew up. The woman said, "If he can fit you in today could you do it?" We answered, "yes", without hesitation. We knew if we delayed it, we would probably be analysing it more. Granted, we were shitting ourselves, but we did it. The tattoo means something to us and we will never regret it for as long as we live. Yeah it was painful in parts, but God was it worth it. Would I do it again? Hell yeah, because I know I can now.

The point I am trying to make is, the mind is a wonderful thing, but it's only in your power how you use it. I am a serial worrier as I have made it known before, but in recent months I've just thought, "What's the point? Where is worrying actually getting me?" The answer is nowhere. If we spend all this time worrying and doubting ourselves, what exactly are we going to achieve in life? Who is going to see the best of you if you can't see the best in yourself?

So as of this week, I'm going to get back to my script writing that I postponed over a year ago, because it's what I love doing and it is another thing to tick off my bucket list :). Lena Dunham (creator of and actress in the hit TV Show, Girls) said this:
"The personal is universal and if too many people get involved in the creative process, then eventually it'll feel like nobody made it."
What she means is, everyone has a personal life; personal ideas, ambitions, loves. But if this is shared amongst everyone and everyone has their own opinions of your personal interests, you can become so influenced by other peoples thoughts, you may even doubt yourself in the end.

My point is, be yourself and have the courage of your convictions. I know I'm going to. Thanks again to everyone who sponsored us for our run and has supported us so much over the past few years. We are so touched by all of you and together, we have made a difference. Like my sister said, if this money stops at least one family going through what we have gone through losing Mammy, then it's all worth it for this amazing cause - thanks again everyone! <3.

Foo Fighters - Best of You.

Big Love,
T.x