- Can I be arsed to wash my hair this morning or shall I dry shampoo?
- No point in shaving any part of my body today because I'm not seeing my boyfriend tonight/I haven't had any action in 10 months.
- Yes! I'm on my period!!
- Great, I'm on my period.
- Fuck, have I leaked?
- Shit, I have gone overboard on my liquid eyeliner. Now I look like a hooker. Better baby wipe a millimeter of it off so I look less hooker-fied.
- I wish I could wear a sports bra every day.
- Is that lad going to approach or?
- Should I text him or do I look desperate?
- I need to fart... gonna have to be an inwards one cause I have company...
- "This time next year, I'll be hench."
- Fuck the queue, I'll piss on the wall.
- To wank or not to wank?
- I'm not going out ever again. Thursday: "We going out or?"
- "This girl liked my status... she clearly wants the D."
- Why does my girlfriend moan so much?
Think the above isn't accurate enough? Or maybe you have more thoughts to add? Let me know your thoughts ladies and gents. Contact me on the back of here, visit my Facebook or tweet me @triciabaxter.