This week, I'm going to complain (in true Patricia Baxter fashion),
about the 10 things that really bother me. Please tell me if they bother you,
too!
- When someone sneezes and you
say, "Bless you." For them to not even say, "Thank
you." Okay, how about, I hope you have a fecking cold, biatch!
- When you say
"Hello", "Good Morning" or "Goodbye" and no
one responds. I'm sorry, you must have me mistaken for someone who enjoys
talking to brick walls and statues.
- When you're sat on your
chair and someone leans on it, therefore making it fall back. I'm sorry; I
didn't know my chair said "lean on me when you're not f**king
strong!"
- When you drop something in front of someone and they do nothing about it. This one time I was carrying out a cup of money at work and I dropped it right near my superior's feet. He literally looked whilst I picked it all up - nice!
- When you send a long letter
of complaint to a company about how shit their service was and all they
can offer you is a £20 voucher. Look... I'm not sure you're getting me...
YOUR SERVICE WAS SHIT! WHY WOULD I WANT TO COME BACK FOR MORE?! GIVE ME MY
MONEY BACK!
- When you put so much effort
into something, e.g. redecorating your house, and you finally get visitors
over for them to say, “Oh, is that a new toaster? That’s lovely.” No it’s
not a new toaster, but I do have a new sofa, TV, curtains. How about you
just walk back out and never come back and leave me to eat my ready meal I
made you that I was going to claim I made from scratch? Cheers.
- When you proper go for it
and sing the lyrics to a song but get one word wrong and some prick pipes
up within a millisecond and says, “Er actually it’s...” Look, loser, get
lost and let me get down to lyrics I think would be good for the song,
okay?
- Chauvinists. Yeah, I bloody
said it. “You women this, you women that.” When was it acceptable for this
to still be... acceptable. Welcome to the 21st Century,
playaaaaas.
- When you talk about something you have an
opinion about and you are having a gentle debate and someone butts in and
takes it to the next level., e.g. you are talking about how you enjoy
eating Nutella from a teaspoon and how this gives you a simple enjoyment
(me), and someone says, actually no that is so wrong on so many levels. Is
it? Or are you just being awkward. You eat your Nutella on bread and I’ll
eat mine from a spoon. Thank you, please.
- Being hungover. It’s true;
it gets worse as you get older. Mine currently last 2 days. This is not
fair. I don’t know what to do with myself? Do I eat like a pig or take the
foetal position? Why can’t I just remember what happened the night before
and feel happy about all the fun I had minus the sickness and headaches?
Wu Tang Clan - Gravel Pit.
Big Love.
T.x