This week, I'm going to complain (in true Patricia Baxter fashion), about the 10 things that really bother me. Please tell me if they bother you, too!
- When someone sneezes and you say, "Bless you." For them to not even say, "Thank you." Okay, how about, I hope you have a fecking cold, biatch!
- When you say "Hello", "Good Morning" or "Goodbye" and no one responds. I'm sorry, you must have me mistaken for someone who enjoys talking to brick walls and statues.
- When you're sat on your chair and someone leans on it, therefore making it fall back. I'm sorry; I didn't know my chair said "lean on me when you're not f**king strong!"
- When you drop something in front of someone and they do nothing about it. This one time I was carrying out a cup of money at work and I dropped it right near my superior's feet. He literally looked whilst I picked it all up - nice!
- When you send a long letter of complaint to a company about how shit their service was and all they can offer you is a £20 voucher. Look... I'm not sure you're getting me... YOUR SERVICE WAS SHIT! WHY WOULD I WANT TO COME BACK FOR MORE?! GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK!
- When you put so much effort into something, e.g. redecorating your house, and you finally get visitors over for them to say, “Oh, is that a new toaster? That’s lovely.” No it’s not a new toaster, but I do have a new sofa, TV, curtains. How about you just walk back out and never come back and leave me to eat my ready meal I made you that I was going to claim I made from scratch? Cheers.
- When you proper go for it and sing the lyrics to a song but get one word wrong and some prick pipes up within a millisecond and says, “Er actually it’s...” Look, loser, get lost and let me get down to lyrics I think would be good for the song, okay?
- Chauvinists. Yeah, I bloody said it. “You women this, you women that.” When was it acceptable for this to still be... acceptable. Welcome to the 21st Century, playaaaaas.
- When you talk about something you have an opinion about and you are having a gentle debate and someone butts in and takes it to the next level., e.g. you are talking about how you enjoy eating Nutella from a teaspoon and how this gives you a simple enjoyment (me), and someone says, actually no that is so wrong on so many levels. Is it? Or are you just being awkward. You eat your Nutella on bread and I’ll eat mine from a spoon. Thank you, please.
- Being hungover. It’s true;
it gets worse as you get older. Mine currently last 2 days. This is not
fair. I don’t know what to do with myself? Do I eat like a pig or take the
foetal position? Why can’t I just remember what happened the night before
and feel happy about all the fun I had minus the sickness and headaches?
Wu Tang Clan - Gravel Pit.