Tuesday, 30 September 2014

Chapter 62: Fine.

I work in town. When I first started I caught the bus every day, but it's £4 for a Day Saver and I'm not being funny, that shit is too much to ride with people that smell. I was running late one day and was too late for the bus so I drove and parked outside my work where it cost £6 for the day. Okay it was £2 more, but at least I wasn't travelling with 70 odd people. I did this a few times and thought to myself, something's gotta give? Surely there is a cheaper car park near by... I asked people at work and quite a few paid for a space for the year but I missed my chance to do so. Then someone finally told me of a £2.10 all day car par near by. It was a little bit of a walk, but it was better than the walks I was doing to the peasant wagon. So I thought, "Score!" Finally I found a car park and didn't have to get up so early in the mornings. I did this for a few weeks and then one day,  I didn't have a 10p piece on me, only two 5p's. The machine said it accepted 5p's so I didn't think it would be a problem... until the machine spat them both out. Fuck. I've only got 6 hours on the meter... It'll have to do. So I hoped for the best and prayed that I wouldn't get a fine.

Later that day, I have a Weight Watchers meal, Shepherd's Pie. Was quite tasty actually... An hour past and what I thought was indigestion to start, was actually the beginning of a 24 hour barfathon. I was running to the toilet every 5 minutes to be sick and at one stage I even sat on the floor of the toilets for a bit because I was that exhausted from yacking so much. I HAD to go home. But how was I going to walk ALL the way to the car park without barfing? I finally grew some balls and got to walking. I had a cold bottle of water with me and took deep breathes like my Mammy always told me to do whenever I felt ill when I was wee. Anyways, all I kept thinking was, "Why the HELL did I not park out front today?" I finally made it to the car and I was that rushed to get home, I drove away. I think I was a bit dazed and confused to be honest.  I made it to Perry Barr and that was the furthest I could go. I had to pull over and be sick. Once I was finished I looked outside my window and low and behold, a massive yellow fine bag stuck to my windscreen. How the HELL did I not notice before? £25. Was only 10p! The amount of times I have paid £2.20 instead of £2.10 as well. I mean, if you think about it, I have definitely paid that back! I write and email to appeal but it didn't stand. They said they would keep it to £25 for a little while longer. However this was sent in email when I was away in Wales with barely any signal and because I don't pay a hell of a lot of attention to my emails, I now have to pay £50 - great.

My Sister & Brother-in-Law currently live in a flat where you have a designated parking space. Well my Bro went to go to football, got in his car and drove off. But then he realised he forgot something, so he parked right outside the flat, ran upstairs for 2 minutes and when he returned, he found a £60 parking ticket plastered to his windscreen. WHAT THE EFFIN' EFF?! Insane. Where was this parking attendant? Hiding in the bushes in the dark?! That's just freaky. He is going to appeal this as soon as so hopefully he will be let off.

Not sure what it is, but Parking Attendants must LOVE the power. I know it's their job but I know if that was me I wouldn't be quick enough to give one and if someone arrived just as I was giving one, I'd be like, "I'll let you off mate." I'd wanna be the good guy! I'd probably just smile like this and walk away:

I know quite a few of you have had parking fines, let's own up and share! Any funny stories? Please let me know on the back of here, on my Facebook page or Twitter at @triciabaxter :).

On top of paying our bills, fines are the LAST  things we want to face! Am I right?

Destiny's Child - Bills Bills Bills.

Much love,

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Chapter 61: Basic Instinct

Sorry fella's, this blog isn't about the raunchy film starring Sharon Stone. I want to talk about something I have recently adopted to start off my week ahead. Yesterday morning I woke up and knew I needed a kick start to my day. It physically hurt me to peel myself out of bed. After getting showered and lying back down on my bed, I started to nod off again... with a strong cup of Joe in hand an all. I knew what I had to do... I had to update the songs on my iPhone to play on the way to work. When I used to have a longer commute to work I would make time in the morning to do this, but I had an incident recently where I updated my iPhone and somehow music was pulled OFF my phone. Since then, I haven't really had the time to update it... but I WILL make the time eventually.

In the meantime I have been streaming songs from YouTube and only one person in particular could kick start my day - the one and only, Dolly Parton. None other than 9-5. Now, this is a song that used to be played constantly when I used to go on cheesey nights out to Walsall. But this NEVER gets old for me and I tell you all now, she definitely set me up for the day. I then followed this on with Jolene. No amount of covers for this song will ever compare to the original. She sounds exactly the same live as she does on record.

I think the reason why Dolly always cheers me up is because she is a very happy person herself and ALWAYS sees the brighter side in life. Just look at her at in her interview at Glastonbury this year.

The person who got me on to having 'a song' on the way to work was my sister, Laura. She told me that she has one song she listens to on the way to work to get her geared up for the rest of the day and that's Pink - Raise Your Glass. She turned on the radio one day, heard it and that was it. Pink HAD to be her song. So one day she was singing away and I mean she was BELTING it out. She has the windows down, wind blowing in her hair, sun shining and shades on:


So as she was singing she looked in her rear window and noticed a young girl behind her also doing the same thing. Laura even reckoned she had the exact same song on because she seemed to be in keeping with what Laura was doing. Laura even thought she might be mocking her cause it was a bit uncanny. They both approached the lights next to each other, my sister looked over. The girl looked fairly young, but I think Laura tried to hear what song she had on. All of that went away when she seen the girl take a big pick up her nose and eat the snot without a care in the world. My sister immediately looked forward and I have a feeling she doesn't make the time to put Pink - Raise Your Glass on, on the way to work anymore... I'm sure she has another song though!

The reason behind today's blog title is down to this: as soon as you get up in the morning, you instinctively know what type of day your'e going to have. You're either going to be like this:

Or like this:

Now you can either choose to get up like Bette here, or do something about it to help motivate you for the rest of the day. Dolly does it for me, what does it for you? Let us know what gets you up in the morning and sets you up for the day. It doesn't have to be music, it could be a film or programme you watched the day before, it could be a breakfast you're really excited to eat or it could be someone in your life that tells you plain and simple, "I know you don't want to do today, but you gotta grow some balls and just get on with it." Contact me on the back of here, visit my Facebook page by clicking this link, or tweet me @triciabaxter with the #9-5

On that note, I'm gonna round this up with Jamie T's new single that I heard last week, but when I heard it on a Monday evening in home time traffic, it couldn't be more fitting - sing it, Jamie!


Tuesday, 9 September 2014

Chapter 60: Underneath Your Clothes...

Yeah, I'm talking about underwear. No, I'm not running out of things to talk about. In fact, this is something I have had an opinion about for quite a while. For those of you who have met me, I have always been known to have fairly large breasts for my size/frame. I'm 5'2" and I have 32E breasts. Yeah, I said it. I don't get why women are so secretive about it? Men don't ever really understand what the numbers and letters mean anyway... They think a 36A is massive. FYI, men, the number is the back size, the letter is the cup size. Moving on... I developed at quite an early age. I was about 10 years old when I had B cup breasts. Growing up I really wanted smaller boobs, but I have grown to appreciate my body in recent years. As I've said in previous blogs, everyone has a specific body hang-up. Let me tell you this ladies, whether you have small or big boobs, NEVER be hung up about them. And no men, we aren't hung up because of you. 99.9% of the time, it's about how we look in clothes. Most importantly, underwear.

UNDERWEAR, the bane of my life. Girls with smaller breasts, I envy you because of this. Don't get me wrong,  I love my breasts, but I just want to be able to wear pretty underwear at a REASONABLE price. So whenever Debenhams have a sale or promotion on the underwear department, I am there in a shot. They have the prettiest bra's for DD+. So when I get there and I see a gorgeous that:
  1. Suits my skin tone (I'm like casper).
  2. Has a pretty pattern.
  3. Does a lot for my cleavage. 
  4. Doesn't give me 4 boob syndrome - when the cup cuts into your cleavage making you look like a 4 boobed alien from outerspace with a t-shirt on.
I am all over it. "YES... They have my size!" Is what I yelp in my head after rummaging for 10 minutes without my glasses on, trying desperately to find my size. After this glorious success, I go to the matching pants. "Oh, FUCKING A!" Is what I scream in my mind when I look and see only the pants are left to match. Now, don't get me wrong. The pants are also pretty, I have NOTHING against the pants... for other girls. Unfortunately for me, these hips don't lie. No. I need either a thong for jeans, or french knickers for dresses. I can NOT have pants that show:
  1. 4 bum - when the VPL digs into your ass, making you have 4 bum - the aftermath of The Human Centipede when the people stitched together finally get separated).
  2. 4 hip - when the top seam of the pants dig into your hips, making you have 4 hips. Similar to that of a stacking toy game you got as a kid:

Yeah the above image, best represents me in pants.

Bravissimo... Let's talk bravissimo. Smaller boobed ladies, be grateful you don't have to pay the below prices for a pretty underwear set:

Yeah, that's JUST the bra... See below for bottom prices, entitled "Accessories":

Yeah... the word 'joke' springs to mind. A whopping total of either £62 for bra and brief or £60.50 for bra and brief... Thank God they knocked off £1.50 for less material. I just hope the bra acts block bullets in case I decide to walk through the ghetto one night.

In addition to this, we (I) have to go through the embarrassing rigmarole of slyly taking off a size 18 bikini top from a set and swapping to go with the other size 10 set for the customer service advisor to say, "Are you sure you got the sizes you want right?" "Do you want me to show you my bra size, lady? Shall I just get back in the changing room and model the bikini for you and the rest of the queue to assure you I have the right sizes?"

So although I love my boobs, it costs to make em look pretty! It's true what they say, having a nice set of underwear on underneath your clothes gives you so much confidence, you instantly feel better. So although you smaller breasted ladies may want bigger boobs, we want your pretty and affordable underwear! Although some celebrities like Kelly Brook and Katie Price have tried their hand at nice underwear for big boobs, they are only every so often released in stores (e.g. Valentines or summer for bikinis) and so are subject to availability... screw you, bitches!

Girls, I want to know your views. I shared mine, no please share yours. I want nice affordable underwear for my size available EVERYWHERE that sells underwear. It depresses me when  I see beautiful underwear in the magazines and then I see it's available at Primark, AKA, NOT FOR ME. What do you reckon? Do you like underwear as much as me? Do you care if it's matching? Are you embarrassed to shop for underwear or to ask to be measured? Please respond on her or my usual places on Facebook or tweet me @triciabaxter.

Meanwhile, listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FE194VN6c4

Embrace your bodies ladies.

Tuesday, 2 September 2014

Chapter 59: When Should I Stop???

Hi everyone! Hope you're all well :). Sorry I never wrote last week, I was on my jollies in sunny Angelesey, Wales. Let me tell you know, the pictures I researched beforehand was exactly the way it was in real life. Beautiful seaside and it was such a quaint little town we stayed in. Fish & chippy and an ice cream shop right at our doorstep... just can't go wrong really can you?!

Most of our days consisted of drinking and relaxing. Now I know what you're thinking, what a hard life I must lead. But I'll tell you something, I NEEDED it! There was a fantastic fish restaurant called the Oystercatcher. It was out of this world! If you love fish, you'll love this. My Dad and Brother-in-Law had the classic Fish & Chips, whilst my sister had the Salmon with Moroccan Vegetables & Cous Cous and I had an All Fish Thai Curry - actually one of the best meals I've had in ages. So good, I went back for seconds a couple of days later:

So like I said, when you're on holidays you tend to relax. I did a bit TOO much one day. The jist of it goes, I didn't eat that day, but I drank - a lot. So much that I went to bed at 8pm and woke up the next morning at 8am. I felt a lot shame to say the least, most of all because I couldn't remember much of the events that occurred. I woke up and apologised to my family for my behaviour and of course they were sympathetic because I hadn't really ate - funny story to tell in the future I'm sure.

The point I want to make is, when do we know when to stop? I'll put my hands up and say that I have went out on nights out to get severely drunk:
  1. Because I don't like where we are going on the night out.
  2. Probably because I'm not very comfortable with the people I'm with AKA people I don't know.
  3. It's the only way I can dance.
I have had a few incidences in the past where I have fallen out with friends over nights out where I have been too drunk or someone else has been too drunk. But we can't tell others to stop and we certainly can't tell ourselves when we have had one too many. If we have the control to lose weight and put down the pies, why don't we have the control to put down the drink? Granted you can say drink creates chemicals in the brain that makes you want more, but again, you can say that about chocolate.

The thing is, we can say every week, "I'm never going to drink again." But that's like me saying, "I'm never going to be in a mood again." If you know me well, you know I'm moody 95% of the time. It's completely unrealistic for me NOT to be moody. The same goes for me saying I will never eat chocolate again - COMPLETELY unrealistic. One thing's for sure though, I'll never end up like this:

I'd love to know your drunken stories. Sharing is caring people and there's no need to be shy... after all, this is the 21st Century and we live in a drunken culture. Just contact me on the back of here, Facebook or tweet me @triciabaxter.

Here's a song that was prominent to me in Uni - the start of the drinking days: Asher Roth - I Love College.