Tuesday, 6 October 2015

Chapter 99: A Guide To Getting Over It

Hey All,

Hope you have all had a great week. I just want to start off by saying thank you all so much for reading my post last week and having such a great response to it. I had so much positive feedback and I'm glad that what I said touched you all in some way. I think we have all experienced times where we have been frustrated at why things don't seem to be working out well for us, but like I say, timing brings everything; it heals, it tests our patience and in the long haul, brings us everything we could have ever imagined and more. So once again, thank you for reading! It means so much to me :).

As this is my penultimate blog post, I want to talk about another thing we have all had to go through at some stage or another in our lives, and that is a break up. Let's face it, break ups are a bitch. The daunting gut feeling that the relationship may well be coming to an end. The feeling that maybe you don't want it to come to an end and that you will have no say in the other person's decisions. The having to break up with someone or being broken up with. The most horrible thing about it all, is the aftermath, How do you cope? How do you adjust to being on your own and facing single life once again? And ultimately, how do you pick yourself from the all time low you have just experienced? In your life, your will meet many people, some acquaintances, many friends and very few people who you would consider to be close to you. This may be a best friend and a lot of the time, your partner. 99.9% of the time, your best friend is your partner. You share and do everything with them, you live in each others pockets essentially... Sadly there are times when this comes to an end and you don't know what the hell to do with yourself thereafter.

I'm here to tell you now and I'm sure it's not the first time you're going to hear this but... you WILL be fine. Whether the relationship ended on mutual terms or a Doctor Foster situation occurred, although it may not seem it at the time, but worse things happen in life and bigger hurdles will come your way. It's times like these that make you a much stronger person and as my Aunt always says, "Just put it under 'E' for 'Experience' in your big book of life."

It's a hard thing to do, but try to focus on getting yourself back on track. I have tried to be friends with exes in the past and sadly this just isn't an option with longevity. In the beginning it is fine if the relationship ended amicably, but there's always the fact that you share a lot of history and there will always be bitterness if one or the other starts a new relationship with someone else. I'm not saying be rude and ignore the person if you ever see them again, but this is a big first step of moving on. Don't be a bitter pill. With every opportunity you get to see your ex again (and this is applicable to many other situations, maybe with a friend you fell out with), smile at them and ask how they're doing? You may or may not want to do this, but it is best to do it and bite the bullet. Say, "Oh hi, Mr. Ex! How are you keeping? What are you up to these days?" Say you're glad they are doing good, wish them well and be on your way. I guarantee you will feel so much better for this. Yeah you may be shaking like a leaf even talking o them, but I can assure you, you will walk away with a smile on your face and feeling like the bigger, better person.

What happened between you and that person, is between you and that person. There is no need to divulge to others the ins and outs and the whys and why nots? That is unless you are telling your family and the friends you want to explain it to after. An imperative part of looking forward is to not look back. People make mistakes and you may regret arguments and disagreements you had with that person, but it is in the past. Learn from the mistakes you made because they won't happen in the next relationship you have I can assure you that much.

When I say try to focus on yourself, I mean it. Do whatever you can to take your mind off the matter. Make plans with family, go to the gym and listen to some music, watch a television series or a film, go out with friends, book holidays, even write your feelings down. But most importantly, do not bottle things up because this does no good. Talk to your loved ones - that's what they are there for. To be a shoulder when you need it for support and an ear to lend when you want to natter on about the same thing you could well be talking about for months, or even years. I know I'm telling you all ways in which to move on but you can forgive and never forget. You won't forget that one person you felt that got you completely, or the way in which they hurt you or you hurt them. The only thing you can do, is learn, look forward and work on being a better version of yourself for that special someone that is waiting for you. It may not have worked out with you ex, but they are your ex for a reason. We all have a path in life. Sometimes we divert, sometimes we fall, but we ALWAYS get back on track.

I hope you all relate to this post as much as you did last week and I hope you all have a great week ahead.

Peace & Love.

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